No, Mormon prophets are not like prophets in the Bible

crazy-prophetOne of the reasons I do not believe that Mormon prophets are true Old-Testament-style prophets is that the prophets of the Bible are batty-nuts-crazy. As in, cooking food with poop, eating bugs, streaking naked, calling bears down to maul children, awkward, politically incorrect, smelly, dirty, uncivil, other-worldly, annoying, and unpredictable. You would not compliment their manners. You certainly would not let them babysit your children. If you brought your children to their conferences, you would cover their ears and sneak out the back.

“We have prophets, just like in the Bible.”

Uh, no, you don’t. Geriatric LDS leaders in suits who smile with ten-thousand-dollar teeth and politely teach safe family values from teleprompters aren’t identifiably similar to prophets in the Old Testament.